


Jam Bud Week 2020!

by lizzyleefree



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Steven Universe Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22553311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzyleefree/pseuds/lizzyleefree
Summary: Just seven pieces of wholesome Connverse content guided by the prompts for Jam Week.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 52
Kudos: 105





	1. Being Human

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1 of jamweek, with the prompt “dance.” Summary: Steven is at a school dance with Connie shortly after the events of Prickly Pair, but finds he can’t handle crowds as well as he used to. The two of them have some catching up to do. I had intended this to be a drabble, but it ended up being a whole dang short story that I drafted in one sitting because I have no chill. Brief song lyrics included are from the song “Human” by Dodie.

Steven stood in the bathroom next to the crowded school gymnasium. The bass from the music thumped inside his chest, and his heart battered in tandem against the inside of his rib cage, trying to escape through his throat.

A long time ago, Connie was the one who was nervous at school dances. Then she danced with him on the beach, and they fused, and now he was the reason she liked dances at all. She’d been gushing in the car about all the catching up they could do, and all the friends he would meet, but so far he wasn’t doing great on either of those fronts.

He was fine in the car, at reminding himself to look happy. He tried to smile. He tried to add that familiar upwards inflection on his words that projected a carefree person. He tried to laugh and chat and be the friend Connie needed to have a good time at a school dance like she deserved to.

She’d found it odd that he had so many clothes in the back seat of his old car, and he somehow managed to avoid telling her he’d been living there for the past week. He just couldn’t face the gems after all the things Cactus Steven said. There was so much about recent events Connie didn’t know, but Steven told himself tonight was not the night to bring her down. Tonight they didn’t need to be burdened by the past or the future.

Then they got to the school, and Steven saw the sea of teenagers. One of his old favorite songs played, the people laughed, the lights flashed, the cheap streamers glittered, the balloons bounced around the room, and all he could focus on was how fragile these humans were. How different he was from all of them. He couldn’t remember being around this many people at once since Little Graduation, and that time he’d almost- no, he couldn’t complete that thought. He felt the familiar tight, sick sensation inside him before his skin glowed pink, and now he was in the bathroom glaring at his own reflection, while Connie was alone on the dance floor.

He tried the deep breathing Garnet taught him. He paced the room. He clutched the sides of his head. He thought of things that used to calm him down. No matter what he did, as soon as he went back to the mirror the pink crept back across the bridge of his nose.

“Get it together!” He hissed at himself, “She’s waiting for you! It’s just a dance! Why are you so bad at this now?”

“Steven?” A voice whispered from the doorway.

“Connie!” he yelped, covering his face, “Hey, you’re not supposed to be in here!”

“We’ve shared a body before. I didn’t think a door would bother you.”

“Yeah, fair point,” he muttered.

“I was just worried about you,” she said, “You’ve been in here for a while and-“

“I’m fine!” he blurted out, his voice high pitched and strained.

“Steven, do we need to go somewhere else? Are the people here too much?”

“What? No, why would you think that?”

She sighed and closed the door behind her, “You can stop covering your face like that. You’re turning pink, aren’t you?”

“No, I- wait, how did you know about that? I’ve never done that around you.”

“Look,” she stepped a little closer to him and slowly pulled his hands down from his face, holding them tight in hers, “I’m sorry I didn’t hear it from you, but you’ve been shutting me out- again- which also isn’t cool. I kept calling and you weren’t answering, so I called Pearl.”

“What? No, no, no!” He yanked his hands from hers and resumed pacing the room, “That stuff wasn’t hers to tell! I just- I didn’t want you to see me like this! I wanted to be- to feel- how I used to. Just for one night, with you, I didn’t want this-” he jabbed a finger at his face flooded with diamond essence- “to follow me! Did she tell you everything Cactus Steven repeated?”

“Cactus Steven? What are you talking about?”

“She didn’t tell you about that?”

“No, we both agreed it was best if I heard the details from you. She just told me you were having a hard time dealing with stuff, and with these new powers of yours. She sounded so worried,” Connie hesitated, touching the flush of glowing pink on his cheek, “Are these powers like-“

She didn’t finish the sentence, as his eyes already gave her the affirmative answer. They were both thinking of that day when another Steven emerged from his lone gem, all primal rage and power. Steven had been terrified that side of him would hurt people, even as he himself lay dying, and now he could feel that same power thrumming and bubbling just under the surface of his skin all the time.

“She did, um, tell me that you haven’t been living in the beach house,” Connie deftly changed the subject, “So those clothes in the car-“

“Yeah,” Steven sighed, “I’ve been living in the Dondai. Camping, too. It’s been kind of fun, actually.”

“Steven!” she rebuked, “Why didn’t you tell me any of this? I knew we were both busy, and not seeing each other as much, but I thought if something like this happened you would talk to me! I thought we’d finally learned how to do this together!”

She stomped her foot with that last word, making Steven jump as his skin faded back to it’s normal hue.

“Connie, I-“

“Seriously, Steven? Are we even still friends? You’d rather go through all this alone than just pick up the phone and call me back?”

“Connie, of course we’re still friends! Or at least, I hope we are. I know I’ve been a terrible friend lately. I’m sorry I shut you out, I just-“ his voice broke and some tears spilled down his cheeks- “I just-“

“You just didn’t want to worry me?”

He nodded and let out a surprised yelp as she grabbed his waist, pulling him towards her. Steven felt his shoulders slump and tension release he hadn’t realized he was holding. He nuzzled into her shoulder, breathing in her familiar scent, and a few strands of her soft hair tickled his nose. Her form was small and warm against his own. His fingers clutched at her back, as a few of his tears soaked into the soft velvet of her royal blue dress.

“Well, stop it,” she said, “I can handle a little worry. What I can’t handle as easily is losing you.”

“Ok,” he whispered into her hair, his broad arms wrapping across her shoulder blades like a life preserver.

“Anyways, Pearl said she thought you could use a fun night out. And I guess that’s what I was trying to make this.”

“Wait,” he backed up to look at her face, and Connie wiped a tear from his cheek, “You asked me out just so I could have a fun time? That’s the same reason I came with you- so that you could have a nice night where you didn’t have to worry about studying and stuff. I was trying really hard to be fun to be around.”

“Well, maybe we can just stop trying to perform for each other. You know I’m not fun to be around all the time, either, but that’s ok! No one can be the life of the party 24/7. Sometimes I get anxious, and bossy, and sometimes I just talk forever about my special interests before I realize the person I’m talking to is lost or bored!”

“I could listen to you talk about anything. I want to be as passionate about things as you are.”

She stared at him for a few seconds before exhaling “Stars, I forgot how cute you can be. You don’t have to be the life of the party for me, Steven. I want the whole person, not the stage persona.”

He granted her the best smile he could muster and breathed “Thank you,” as he nestled back into her hair. He loved hearing her say stuff like that, but he couldn’t help but wonder if those words would still come so easily if she knew all that the gems did. He’d have to tell her everything eventually. He knew he did, if he wanted any hope of their friendship lasting. For now, maybe he could just cherish being held by her while it lasted.

The music from the dance drifted in through the bathroom vent, muffled and distorted. It was lilting and slow, and Connie placed her hands on Steven’s waist, swaying him softly in rhythm with the song.

He felt the smallest grin creep onto his face and he took her hand in his, the other one resting on her shoulder. They began to spin in small circles on the yellowed school linoleum, ignoring the lingering scent of urine and just general teenage boy. All that mattered to Steven was that Connie was here. It mattered that her weight in his arms reminded him that he was alive, and that he was loved. It mattered that she was smiling at him, and that he was smiling back- a real smile this time. He felt lighter than he could remember feeling in weeks, his insecurities softening just a bit, and as Connie spun him under her arm with the climax of the song, his feet began to float off the ground.

He was about to lift her up into the air with him when a boy walked in the bathroom.

“Hey!” he shouted, bulging eyes resting on Connie like she was a witch “You’re not supposed to be in here!”

Steven dropped back down to the ground, causing Connie to lose balance until she slipped on some water spilled on the floor. She tumbled down, pulling Steven with her until they were both in a heap by the urinals.

“Are you ok?” they asked in unison. Their faces were inches from each other, and they both exploded into giggles at the absurdity of the situation.

“Um,” said the boy who’d intruded on them, “I’m just gonna go to the other bathroom.”

Steven and Connie erupted in more laughter as the boy slowly backed out of the room.

“Connie!” Steven chuckled as he helped her up, “Oh no, your dress has bathroom water on it!”

“Eh, this old thing? It’s cool.”

“Yeah, you still look beautiful in it.”

Connie blushed and rolled her eyes as she offered her elbow, “M’lord? Shall we return to the ball?”

“Yes, M’lady,” he said, stifling another laugh.

They walked out of the bathroom and Steven was flooded with the lights and noise of all the humans around him. It was easier than it was at first, but his heart still raced, and he didn’t know if he could ever relax in a place crowded with humans again. At least, not until he figured out how to manage his pink powers first.

“Hey,” Connie studied his face, “I know an even better place to dance.”

“Oh?” asked Steven with a sideways glance.

She nodded, “The beach.”

“Why, is there a party or something?”

“Yep. A party with only you and I invited.”

“Connie, you don’t have to do that. I thought you wanted me to meet your friends and-“

“That can happen another time, but it’s a beautiful night and the DJ here kind of sucks.”

He laughed, “The DJ on the beach is just my phone on shuffle.”

“Wow, that’s an impressive set up! You’ll give Sour Cream a run for his money.”

And with that, she led him back to the car where they drove to the closest stretch of beach. They abandoned their fancy shoes, and twirled and danced until they fell into the sand together.

With the ocean waves calming him, and being able to look at the stars as he talked instead of directly at her, it was a little easier to open up to Connie than he thought it would be when she started gently probing him with questions. His account of the last few months was stilted, hesitant, and rife with self deprecation, but it was a start.

“You know,” said Connie after a while, when Steven had said all he had the strength to, “I had a hard time adjusting after all that stuff on Homeworld, too. It was hard for me to talk to you about it, because I knew you already felt guilty about us almost dying there, so I got some outside perspective. I started going to therapy and opened up to my parents a little more, and they were actually really helpful. I hope you can get that, too.”

“Some perspective?”

“Yeah, and some help. And I want us to be there for each other through that process.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right,” Steven said, sitting up to stare at the waves, “Ugh, of course I should have realized you were struggling, too! I’m so sorry you went through that without me.”

“You were kind of off in space toppling an intergalactic space dictatorship. I get it. But thanks.”

They sat for a few minutes letting the waves lap up to their toes and carry away their thoughts. It was so familiar, sitting on the beach with her, yet he was having thoughts he’d never had the other times they came there. He thought about how much he wanted to kiss her, but the timing didn’t feel right. He wondered if it ever would. Things were just left too raw and vulnerable at the moment to go adding another layer of complexity to the mix.

“Hey,” Connie straightened and grabbed Steven’s phone, “There’s a song I want you to hear. Time for one more dance?”

“Always,” he said, pulling himself up.

With the intro, Steven recognized the song and began humming along as they swayed with it. Connie began singing the lyrics to him in earnest, gazing at him with her wide brown eyes, and Steven was entranced:

_“I wanna pick you up and scoop you out  
I want the secrets your secrets haven’t found_

_"Paint me in trust  
I’ll be your best friend  
Call me the one  
This night just can’t end  
Oh oh”_

He spun Connie, and as she twirled back towards him she stole a kiss on his cheek. He flushed a deep pink, and this time it was nothing to do with his gem.

_“Will you share your soul with me?  
Unzip your skin and let me have a see_

_"Paint me in trust  
I’ll be your best friend  
Call me the one  
This night just can’t end  
Oh oh”_

With the next lines, Connie stopped dancing, and they both sang to each other:

_"Oh, I’m so human  
We’re just human.”_

She wanted to remind him that he was human. And that humanity was not less because of his alien heritage. He was allowed to be fragile sometimes. He was allowed to not have to be everyone’s savior.

The first 17 years of Steven’s life had been taken by Homeworld. Taken by the war, and the thousands of years of mistakes made by his mother. He’d finally learned how to be a Crystal Gem. Maybe in the next 17 years he could learn about being human.


	2. A Discourse on Belly Buttons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jam Week Day 2: Humanity. Word count: 1080. Takes place shortly after the events of Steven’s Birthday in S2.

Connie was flopped in the sand, arms stretched above her head as she gazed at the night sky. Her blouse fell just above her navel, and Steven found himself staring.

“Steven? Are you ok?”

He jerked his eyes away, realizing it might be weird of him to be looking at her exposed midriff so intently, “Oh yeah, I’m sorry! I just was wondering what it’s like.”

“What?”

“To um,” he cleared his throat, “to have a belly button. I know that sounds weird.”

“Oh,” she sat up on one of her elbows and looked down at the small dip in her tummy that every human had, “I’ve never really thought about it. You can’t feel it or anything. Sometimes they get lint in them.”

“Oh yeah! Dad gets a lot of lint in his because it’s so hairy. He used to let me pick it out when I was really little and pretend I was a monkey grooming him for bugs!”

“Ha, ew!” Connie stuck out her tongue, “I guess they are kind of odd when you think about it. We all have scars from being nourished in the womb.”

Steven clutched at his gem through his shirt and stared at his lap.

“Steven,” Connie asked, “Do you feel bad? About not having a belly button?”

“Sometimes? I mean, I don’t know. It seems silly. It’s not like your belly button gives you any cool powers like my gem does. I don’t know why I feel bad about that, but I do.”

Connie sat up to face Steven, “I don’t think it’s silly. Your powers are cool, but your gem is the main thing that marks you as something other than human, right? I’m sure that can feel really isolating sometimes.”

“I guess that’s it.” He pulled his knees to his chest, “Hey, you know that thing you and my dad do?”

“What thing?”

“You know, like whenever he teaches you about gem stuff you guys say ‘human beings’ and give each other a little high five. I’ve always wanted to join in when you guys do that, but I don’t know if I’m allowed to.”

“Oh, Steven. I’m so sorry. We weren’t trying to make you feel left out or-“

“No, no, it’s ok.” He waved his hand frantically and then fell silent.

“You _are_ human, Steven. You cry and bleed and feel and change. Belly button or not, you’re human.”

“I’m a half human,” he said flatly.

“I don’t think that’s how humanity works. You are a whole human, and a whole gem. Fused together.”

He laughed, “Well put. Garnet would be proud to hear you tell it like that.”

“I guess she’s rubbed off on me! And it’s true.”

“I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to grow up with you during my birthday party, ever since Dad mentioned that I just stopped growing.”

“You got that chin hair, though.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty encouraging. I still look half my age, though. So, am I just going to look like an eight-year-old with a beard while you’re in college?”

Connie giggled at the thought, “Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. I meant what I said, Steven. It doesn’t matter to me what age you look like. I’ll always want to be a part of your Universe. We can hang out whether you’re a baby or an old man!”

“Well yeah, hanging out is one thing, but what about other stuff?”

“Other stuff?”

“Hmm, I don’t know if I should tell you. It’s stupid.”

“Come on, please? It’s just me! I want to know what’s on your mind.”

He cleared his throat, and his voice cracked with a little squeak, “You really liked when you thought I was taller than you. I could reach all this stuff for you. And you kept leaning your head on my shoulder and I just felt good. At least, I did before I blew it and turned into a baby.”

“Steven, you know-“

“And I know you’re not vain enough to think looks matter much, but maybe I am. Because-” he wiped the dampness from his eyes, “-because maybe I just want to feel like you think I’m handsome!”

“Steven! I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself. I’m not even 13 yet! I’ve never thought of anyone as handsome before.”

Steven’s cheeks flushed beet red, unable to stop his avalanche of thoughts, “Yeah, well what if we want to have kids someday? I don’t want to look younger than Steven Jr!”

“Oh!” Connie went rigid, her cheeks flushing as well, “Ok, first of all, we’re way too young to think of that.”

“Aren’t you the one who likes to plan ahead?”

“Not that far ahead! We haven’t even watched that video in health class of the lady going into labor yet. I’ve heard it’s like a horror film.”

Steven shuddered, remembering a very shocking tape Onion showed him recently, “Yeah, take it from someone older and wiser, avoid that video for as long as you care about preserving your childhood.”

“Umm yeah,” Connie hesitated, “we’re definitely gonna need to unpack that for another conversation.”

“Nope.”

She shook her head, “Anyways, back on track. Didn’t you also say Steven Jr. was a goat?”

“Oh yeah. I should check on my son.”

Connie snickered, and Steven gave her a sheepish smile.

“I’m sorry if I’m weirding you out.” He laid his head on her shoulder, “Talking about kids and all that stuff. I just overthink things sometimes.”

“Well, it’s normal for you to worry about the future. Or about what it has the potential to be. I kind of know what I want for my future because I have two human parents to model after. Gems emerge knowing everything they need to know for their whole existence. But you? There’s never been anyone like you, so there’s no way to know what your future could be like.”

“Another thing I’ve heard from Garnet a lot.”

She reached up to his head, sinking her fingers into his hair. “But hey, what I do know about your future is that I want to be a part of it in some way. Do you think that can be enough? For now?”

He sighed, his body relaxing as her fingertips massaged through his thick curls, “It’s definitely enough. Thank you.”

She raised her hand in the air, “Human Beings?”

A grin split across Steven’s face as he sat up and pressed his hand to hers, “Human Beings.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so far we have stories based on the prompts "dance" and "humanity." Kinda weird that the one on humanity had a title about belly buttons and not the one titled "Being Human." I didn't really look at the prompts ahead of time or plan this out, obviously.
> 
> The story tomorrow will be from Connie's perspective! I always look forward to writing her. <3


	3. The Sleep and Secrets Between Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jam Week Day 3: Sleep. Summary: The events of “Escapism” and moments thereafter from Connie’s perspective.

They slept as much as they could in the tower. It helped fight off the boredom, the aching hunger, and the despair. The air was stagnant and hot, and the floor hard and unforgiving. There were no sweet Pebbles who made the last room they stayed in feel so much like home. The two of them cycled between sleeping tangled in each other’s arms for some source of softness and comfort and sleeping on the concrete alone to avoid the sweat and heat of the other.

Steven being able to astrally project was the only hope they had of rescue, which is why she so willingly offered her lap as a pillow. She started regretting this sooner than she’d hoped, her legs aching against the hard floor under Steven’s weight. He remained eerily still in his slumber. His breathing came so soft that she placed her hand in front of his lips several times to ensure he was still alive. The earth was an unfathomable distance away, and Connie wondered what would happen to them if he couldn’t find help, or if he couldn’t find his way back to his body.

She shook her head violently, rejecting all the grim possible outcomes of their situation. She had to continually choose to believe in Steven. Dwelling on the alternatives was not productive.

Hours passed, and still Steven slept. Connie’s eyelids grew heavy, and several times her head snapped up before she almost fell forward on top of him with exhaustion.

She picked up Steven’s hand and dropped it a couple of times. It always landed heavy and limp, with no indication of stirring. She nodded, confident she wouldn’t wake him, and slid her hands under each arm. With a few heaving pulls, she got him close enough to the wall that she could rest against it. She lowered his head to the floor and attempted to stand to stretch her legs.

Connie buckled on her knees immediately, wincing as pins and needles shot through her awakening blood vessels. She limped and stomped around the room, cursing under her breath, until she regained sensation in her limbs. She paced around the lengths of her prison, hating that all she could do was wait while her passed out best friend relied on his iffy psychic powers for their rescue. Her stomach roared at her and her throat burned for moisture. Serial murderers got more humane living conditions than this on earth.

“Stupid space-nazi bitches,” she muttered to herself.

It felt like a warranted situation to cuss in, being in prison and all. Despite that, she couldn’t shake the feeling that her mom could hear her from light-years away.

With a sigh, she resigned to sit back down and wait for Steven to return.

Leaning against the wall, she pulled his head back into her lap, making sure to sit with her legs to the side so they wouldn’t lose feeling as easily this time. She stroked his cheek, feeling a very faint island of stubble on otherwise baby-smooth skin. She straightened his pink clothes, which had gotten bunched and rumpled when she moved him over to her. She marveled at how naturally he donned the outfit and role of his late mother like it was just what he was supposed to do.

“Steven,” she croaked, clearing her parched throat, “I know you’re sorry for leaving me behind, back when you tried to go and sacrifice yourself, but I know you’d probably do it again if you knew I wouldn’t get pissed at you. You always want to shield everyone to the point that you try to do all the dangerous stuff alone while you leave them behind.”

Curls of hair stuck to his forehead, and she wiped them away. “I know you regret bringing me with you because you don’t want me to get hurt. But I chose to come here, because the earth is my home, too. I couldn’t stand to live in a bubble while you did all the hard things; I’d rather die. I might die. But if I do, it was my choice.

“If we don’t make it out of here- or if I don’t- I want you to know that it isn’t your fault. I want you to know that I’m ok with you making me like Lars, if you can, because I want to continue to fight for my planet for as long as I can.

She swallowed the lump of tears in her throat, not wanting to get dehydrated anymore than she could help it.

“I know your mind is back on earth, and I hope everything is going ok there, but I hope some part of you can still hear me. Because I want you to know that…” she let out a shaky exhale, looking for any sign of awareness in his face.

“I want you to know that I love you, Steven.” Despite her best efforts, a few tears finally spilled down her cheeks, “I know sometimes you think I don’t like you the same way you like me because I don’t care about marriage and romance that much, but I do. I love you so much that all those things that seem stupid and gross in romance stories seem beautiful and sweet when I see them through your eyes,” she choked out a laugh and wiped her face, “I hope someday I have the guts to tell you all this stuff when your consciousness is at least on the same planet as me.”

She leaned over his face and opened one of his eyelids, staring at his black pupil fully dilated and still. As she let his eye slide closed again, she pressed her lips gently against his forehead before sitting back up.

“You can’t hear me at all,” she said with a sigh, “That just means I’ll have to survive. Because you deserve to know. I’ll find a way to tell you when we’re back on earth.”

Connie leaned back and sleep overtook her in almost the same moment that she closed her eyes.

She woke what only seemed minutes later, but it must have been several hours judging from the low light outside. The nights were a little cooler on Homeworld, making snuggling more tolerable. She sighed against the softness of Steven’s bosom, and smiled as she felt his arms tighten around her. Then she realized that if he was holding her, that meant he was no longer in her lap. She bolted upright, grabbing him by the shoulders.

“You’re awake! You’re back! Steven, what happened?”

“Hey, Connie,” he said with a tired smile, “I found Bismuth and Dad. I hope they’re gonna be able to come.”

“And? What else? Details, Universe!”

“Details-” he scrunched up his face, “I think I possessed a watermelon person? And I think I died.”

“You-” Connie withdrew her hands from him, “you died?”

“Yeah,” he looked away from her, “I don’t really want to talk about it anymore, if that’s ok with you. It was kind of a weird experience.”

“Of course, that’s ok! I’m just glad you’re here.”

“What about you? Get into any trouble without me?” He offered her an attempt at a playful smile.

“I, um…”

She thought of her gushing monologue to his uninhabited body before and tried to think of how to say it now that his wide eyes were looking back at hers.

“Yeah?” Prompted Steven.

Connie couldn’t bring herself to tell him, because then it would sound like a goodbye, and she was not about to have any goodbyes in that damned, musty tower.

“Oh, you know, I just kind of dozed off,” she said.

“Heh,” his shoulders slumped, “yeah, I guess there isn’t much else to do.”

Conversation had always flowed easily between them. They used to relish every allowance to have a sleepover or stay up late into the night talking and goofing off.

It was a different dynamic in the tower, though. They had a few good conversations, and even a few sparse moments of laughter, but their interaction became more and more minimal as the heat from the next day crept into the dank room. They slept as much as they possibly could, and even when sleep didn’t come, they often pretended to be asleep as the thirst was making them both too groggy and irritable to attempt anymore interaction than necessary.

After they were released from the tower by Blue, Connie figured the most traumatic part of the journey was behind them, but then she watched Steven’s gem get ripped from his body. She carried him, right in front of White, who could crush her dead at any second with her pinky nail.

He almost died right there in her arms, and even after he reunited with his pink side, and after the gems were released from White’s power, there was still an unspoken seriousness between Connie and Steven that hadn’t been there before. It was only perceptible in the most quiet moments.

When they got back to earth, Connie insisted on still being able to sleep with Steven for a month straight. Her parents protested, saying it was “hardly appropriate,” but once Pearl informed them that she could keep watch since she didn’t need sleep, they seemed placated.

When the gems all wanted an account of how they won White over, Steven told a doctored version of the story where he used his shield to block her attack and talk to her, with no inclusion of the gem removal.

Whenever Connie began to grow uncomfortable with him telling that version of the story, he met her eyes with a knowing stare, communicating the gems couldn’t know what White did if there was any hope of peace and trust between them and the Diamonds. He wouldn’t even talk about it with Connie, insisting that it “didn’t matter” how he was affected by it because the outcome was a happy ending with everyone fine.

So, none of the adults in their lives knew the full reason why Connie insisted on sleeping next to Steven. None of them knew why he thrashed in his sleep almost every night until she calmed him. None of them knew why he raised his shield every time he was mildly startled.

Eventually, Steven had to go back to Homeworld, because the Diamonds lauded him as the Savior that had to teach them how to be better in order to not have an oppressive caste system that harvested entire planets.

Connie knew she couldn’t go with him that time, unless she just intended on dropping out of high school. Her parents wouldn’t be ok with that, but neither would she. She didn’t want to abandon her academic ambitions, her family, and her friends at school to go spend years on a planet that regarded her as little more than a “pet” at best, and someone to be discarded or imprisoned at worst.

It was odd, getting used to sleeping alone again when she’d grown so protective over Steven. She found herself waking up in the night clutching for him, as she dreamed of White’s inky talons ripping through her blankets after them.

Connie eventually got some counseling, and the dreams lessened until they hardly happened at all.

Still, she looked forward to the nights when Steven would warp into her room and wordlessly nuzzle against her under the covers, making her especially relieved her parents deemed her mature enough to have a lock on her door. Steven was always so tired the nights he came. Even when he tried to stay up to talk with her, his sentences would trail into incomplete mumbles until he fell asleep minutes later. She wondered how much sleep he was getting on the nights he didn’t come.

She noticed little changes in those quiet nights. More indications of facial hair. Broader shoulders. Longer limbs. A year after their events in the tower, he went from looking like an eight-year-old to a kid nearly his actual age. Now that he was no longer expected to be someone he wasn’t, he was finally growing.

She could sleep better knowing that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if anyone is going to read this, but I've already finished the fic for tomorrow and it's THE FLUFFLIEST PIECE I'VE EVER WRITTEN IN MY LIFE. I had to stop writing periodically to scream.


	4. Together-Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jam Week Day 4: Together. This is the spiciest lil’ piece of fluff I’ve ever written.

“Connie, are we together-together?”

She sputtered out some of the hot chocolate she’d been drinking, looking at his wide eyes staring at her. They sat on his bed, ready to watch the director’s cut of the newest “Unfamiliar Familiar” movie. Connie thought it was a train wreck, but she was still excited for Steven to see it for the first time so they could pick it apart afterwards.

It looked like the movie would have to wait a few minutes, though.

“What do you mean, Steven?”

“Well, we hung out with your friends from school a few days ago and-“

Connie let out a long sigh. She knew her friends would start meddling the second they finally met Steven.

“-and Jeff asked if we were ‘together.’ And I said, ‘Not right now because she’s in the bathroom.’ And then he said ‘No, I mean together-together.’ Then I asked what that meant, and he started laughing.”

“Did he?” Connie forced a smile, reminding herself to have a little talk with Jeff later.

“Yeah, but he told me some stuff about what it meant later. He wasn’t laughing then, and he said he wanted to ‘help me out’ or something.”

Connie felt heat creeping into her cheeks, bracing herself, “And what did he tell you?”

“Just that when you’re ‘together,’ it means that person is very special to you.” A too-big smile spread over Steven’s face and his words started to tumble over each other, “Like, you want to be with that person more than anyone else, and you go places together, and you like to hug and hold hands and, um…” he cleared his throat, “and, well, we don’t do all the stuff he mentioned, but we do most of it. So I was just wondering if we’re ‘together.’”

“Do you want to be together?”

“If you do.” His eyes darted up to hers and then back to the blankets, “He also said that once you’ve been together for a while then you even fall in love, and I’ve loved you for a long time, so I figured maybe we were already together-together.”

“Wait, what?”

“What?”

“Back up a second, you said you..”

“I said I love you.”

He said it with a straight face, without the hesitation or the drama there was in romance stories. He said it with just as much ease as he said his own name.

She sighed, “I don’t think you know what that means in this context.”

“Sure, I do. I’ve told you I love you before. Why’s it different now?”

Connie stared down at her mug, reminding herself that Steven was almost 19 now. They were at a normal age to be talking about this kind of stuff. He still seemed so young, but he was just barely starting to integrate into human society after all the years his role as a Diamond took from him. He kind of missed the train for human adolescence, and she couldn’t fault him for not knowing all the social nuances of other young adults.

“You told me you loved me in the same breath that you told the Crystal Gems. You love almost everyone.” She explained, “It’s a different kind of love when you’re ‘together.’ Or maybe, an additional layer?”

“They should really have words for the different kinds of love.”

Connie wanted to mention that the Greeks actually did have that, but instead she just said, “Steven, I’m of scared of being ‘together-together.’ I love you, too, but there’s nothing I value more than our friendship. I’ve known so many people our age at school who dated and then they never wanted to talk to each other again! I never wanted to risk our friendship just to be able to call you my boyfriend.”

“So, if we were together, you would be my girlfriend?”

“Well, yeah.” She shrugged, “That’s how it works.”

A big, toothy grin spread across Steven’s face and crinkled his eyes, “I really like the way that sounds.”

Connie’s breath caught in her throat and she had to look away from him; he was so bright sometimes it was like staring at the sun. It was hard to figure out how she felt about dating when he was so cute, and when she liked the sound of his voice calling her his ‘girlfriend’ so much.

“Those other people you knew who were together who ruined their friendships, how long had they been friends with each other before they started being ‘together?’”

“Um, not very long in most cases.”

“Well, we’ve been friends for six years! And we’ve gotten through a couple of fights and saved the galaxy together. I think we have a strong enough foundation in our friendship to get through being ‘together.’”

“I never thought about it like that.”

“I mean,” he added softly, “I don’t want you to feel pressured. I’m fine if we’re ‘alone,’ too. I just wanted you to know that if you decided you wanted to be ‘together,’ but then changed your mind and wanted to go back to this, I would never hold it against you.”

“Steven…” she stared at him, unsure what either of them needed in that moment.

“I do love you, though. And I know I love almost everyone, but I mean it differently with you. I want to help you be happy and face everything together with you. Also, sometimes I-” he turned a deep pink and grabbed the side of his head as he averted his eyes from her, “please don’t be mad.”

“Mad?”

“Well, not sometimes, more like a lot of the time. I just can’t stop thinking about doing some of that other stuff Jeff mentioned. The stuff we don’t do.” he bit his lip and held his hands up, “Again, sorry, please don’t be mad.”

Connie took a deep breath to calm her heart pounding in her ears.

“Steven, of course I’m not mad. I, um-“ she covered her face and mumbled into her fingers- “I’ve thought about all those things, too! With you.”

Connie felt the bed shift and his fingertips brushing the back of her hand. When he gently pulled her fingers from her eyes, she saw he was kneeling in front of her. His face was inches from her own.

“Is this-” he breathed, “-Is this ok?”

His eyes shimmered, locked with hers, and then darted down to her lips.

A thrill rushed through her and she answered Steven by closing the distance between them. She was immediately aware of every point of contact his body made with hers, creating pools of tingling, electric heat. His arm twined around her waist, with his other hand cupping her cheek and tangling fingers in her hair. His lips moved slowly against hers, and as she ran her hands up his broad back he sighed and sank into the kiss deeper.

He broke away to gaze at her, with rumpled hair and hooded eyes. Connie’s body responded to the withdrawal by pulling him back to her by his jacket collar, eliciting a satisfying and adorable yelp of surprise from him. She kissed him with all the fervor she’d held back for all their years together. She pushed him into the blankets and pinned him down with her legs, her hands holding his wrists and her lips trailing down his neck. He shuddered with each new contact her lips made with him.

“Connie,” he whispered through a shaking exhale.

“Hmm?” she mumbled in between kisses.

“I’m confused. Does this mean we’re together-together now? It doesn’t have to, I just-”

Connie sat up and rolled her eyes, “Of course we are, you dork. I love you.

He placed his hand on Connie’s as he looked up at her, tears welling in his eyes.

“And I love you. So much.”

They never got around to watching the movie Connie brought over.


	5. Nesting and Resting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jam Week Day 5: Home. Steven gets a little too into decorating Connie's dorm.

Steven surveyed the dorm room, trying to figure out what it was missing. He was sitting on Connie’s loft bed, the highest vantage point of the space, trying to get a feel for the room’s flow. The first place his eyes were drawn to was the plush Papasan chair by the bay window- mostly because of who was in it. Connie lay curled up under a white faux fur throw, dust particles dancing around her in in the setting sun. The golden light illuminated the errant hairs of her thick ponytail to make a glowing crown. She looked like a small bird in a nest of wicker and cotton.

The chair took up far too much floor space in the modest room, but Steven insisted they could make it work by raising the bed to make room for her desk underneath it. He said he just wanted to be sure she felt comfortable.

Connie kicked out her legs, dangling them over the edge of the giant chair’s cushion, and looked up at Steven.

“It looks great,” she said with a tired smile, “We’ve done enough decorating for today. I don’t think it could feel any more like home.”

He sighed, tearing his gaze away from her to scan the room once more “I know, there’s just something I’m forgetting.”

She groaned and threw the blanket off her.

“I know you’re tired,” he cooed from his perch on her bed, “Take a nap. I’ll be quiet.”

“No, I’m hungry,” she popped out of the chair, “Let’s go check out the restaurants near campus! I saw a really good looking boba tea place on our way in.”

“I’m really not hungry yet, and I want to finish some stuff in here. Why don’t you grab some stuff from the kitchen, and we can go out to Boba afterwards?”

She sighed, looking like she wanted to say something about his decorating obsession, but thought better of bringing it up when she was getting hangry.

“Fine,” she said, “but we are getting boba afterwards. Promise?”

He nodded and reached out to squeeze her hand, “Promise.”

He sat still as she left, and he could hear the indistinct chatter she was having with one of her new suite mates.

The room was lush and bursting with stimuli that elicited comfort. Connie had kindly endured months of dorm inspo videos on TubeTube as Steven picked her brain for what she would like the most. A Pothos Ivy and a succulent of green pearls were cradled in macramé that hung from the ceiling by the window. The new plants looked so small and fragile in the pots at the nursery, but one kiss each from Steven sent streams of emerald growth almost down to the floor. He wished growth in humans was as easy as that.

The bay window was easily the best feature of the room and looked out on a courtyard filled with crisp fall leaves and bustling new freshman. The sunlight filtering into the room was softened by gauzy white curtains, that faintly glowed with twinkle lights. Not many dorms were lucky to have so much natural light, but Gale was an old, uppity university with a certain standard of living expected by the students. Even with Connie’s mom being a doctor, they could not have afforded it easily had Connie not gotten a full ride scholarship. She was the Valedictorian of her high school, an ethnic minority, a classically trained violinist, and a woman going into STEM. Apparently, all those things meant she practically had colleges fighting over her, and she was a shrewd bargainer. Gale was her dream school, but she acted aloof until they offered her a single unit dorm, a bunch of sweet collegiate merch, and meal vouchers to try nearly every restaurant around campus at least twice.

No colleges were fighting over Steven. He sat on top of a blue and white striped comforter with the college’s regal crest emblazoned on it. Connie’s drawers and wardrobe were filled with blue, a way for Gale to mark her as theirs. Even Steven wore a blue hoodie from her with the school’s name stamped to his chest, but he was not theirs. He was hers. All this blue crowding him was from a new phase of her life, one that involved him being two states away.

Throughout the room, the blue warred with the pink- with remnants from the past. On top of the Gale comforter was a throw pillow made from one of Steven’s old pink t-shirts. The gold star in the middle was more faded than he remembered when contrasted next to all the vibrant, new, blue items around it, including the stuffed poodle that rested on top of it.

Steven thought a poodle was a stupid mascot, and carefully rearranged the pillows on the bed so that the star was more prominent.

He looked for other pink things in the room. Connie’s sword was mounted above her bed, ready to grab at a moment’s notice, although she would probably never need to. He ran his hand along the artfully crafted hilt, a surge of confusing nostalgia settling in his chest, and felt pained when his fingers came away with dust on them. Was it normal to miss a time of war when people were constantly trying to abduct or kill you?

A massive pink shag rug covered most of the hard wood floor. Connie loved it the moment she saw it in the store because it reminded her of Lion’s mane.

Steven climbed down the ladder at the foot of the bed and wiggled his toes in the rug’s fibers. He wandered around, brushing the tops of the items that composed Connie’s small, new home with his fingertips. There was the noisemaker he got her for when the old pipes and creaky floors in the colonial dorm building were too creepy at night. He turned it on and found the sound of the ocean, hoping that one was her favorite.

There was the bar cart in the corner stashed with tea, mugs, and snacks. There were the tiny potted succulents and air plants in corners where more energy flow was needed. There was a hanging stack of organization cubes filled with linens, cleaning supplies, and toiletries. Then there was her desk, under the bed. That was the part of the room she wouldn’t let Steven touch, as she was more particular about her study area than anywhere else. The entire upper half of the wall under the bed was covered in cork board, which was scattered with pictures from their childhood pressed in by little star thumb-tacs, and interspersed by Connie’s fanart drawings, photos with her family, and with friends from school. Next to the picture board was a dry erase calendar, blank and crisp before being filled with responsibilities. By her desk there was a short bookshelf filled with all the fantasy novels she gushed over with him as a child, as well as new titles that were too technical for him to understand.

He was looking at some old, silly pictures of them when his eyes were drawn to the desk. Amongst the lamp, the laptop, and the new textbooks already tabbed and highlighted before the semester started, there was a mug of writing utensils with a familiar bracelet looped around a portion of them.

He lifted the small loop of pink plastic, held it under the lamp, and cupped it to his face, shielding out the light to try and make it glow once again. He knew the glowing properties had left it long ago, but for some reason he felt compelled to try, just as Connie had felt compelled to keep it even when its designed purpose was over with.

Steven had been doing a lot of work on himself the past few years, trying to not constantly feel aimless or abandoned, but as tears began to well up in his eyes, he couldn’t help but think he was backsliding. It was normal, his therapist had said, to feel sad about his best friend leaving for college. Was crying over an old glow bracelet normal, though? Was it one step away from spiraling out of control again like what happened back when he would glow pink at the slightest exacerbation of his insecurities?

Just the thought of going back to that stage of his life sent a jolt of anxiety through him, and he clutched the bracelet to his chest as he plopped in Connie’s desk chair with his knees pulled up under his chin.

“Steven?” Connie stood in the doorway, two bowls of steaming ramen noodles in her hands and worry on her face.

He must have been quite a sight, he thought to himself, tearing up and huddled in the corner over an old glow bracelet with calming ocean noises playing.

“Hey, Connie!” He wiped his face quickly before he looked up at her, “You didn’t have to make me anything!”

“It’s the least I could do for you making my room look like it belongs on a Mumblr aesthetic blog or whatever.”

She placed the bowls on her bar cart and trailed her hand down Steven’s arm until she was grasping the hand that held the bracelet. He was sure she’d noticed the red and the wetness in his eyes, but she didn’t mention it.

“You said you wanted to finish stuff in here. What were you working on?”

“Nothing,” he sighed, “It’s perfect. I guess I was just looking for something wrong with it so I could have something to fix. Sorry- you know that’s a thing I do.”

“I know,” she said, and booped his nose, “but at least you’re aware you were doing it. Now eat your ramen.”

Steven obediently took his bowl and slurped up the warm, wavy noodles. “You sure you can feel like this place is home?”

“You mean a place away from you?”

He nodded.

“Well, I know the twin bed is a little small, but you could always sleep in the Papasan. Just live here and we won’t tell anyone.”

“What if your dorm police find out?”

“Again, Steven, they’re called Resident Assistants. And if they come by you could just shapeshift into a cute emotional support cat or something.”

“Nope!”

“What?”

“I don’t do cat shapeshifting. No way.”

Connie laughed and slurped up another noodle so fast it splashed broth in between her eyes. It was second nature for Steven to wipe it off with his thumb without either of them missing a beat in the conversation.

“Ok, so the place is a little cramped for you to live in my dorm, but you could always live here in Blue Haven. If you wanted to.”

“What? And just leave everything back in Beach City?”

“I understand if you don’t want to, but all the coolest things you’re doing in Beach City you could also do here.”

She hid her face in her bowl and came back up with her cheeks red as she looked at him again.

Steven did have a lot going for him, even if college might not be his thing. He had a successful vlogging TubeTube channel. It was an eclectic mix of space adventures with Lars, pranks with Amethyst, original music and covers from animes, reaction videos, cooking tutorials, and music tutorials. He had no idea how he got almost 9 million subscribers, but it was enough to support himself easily without his dad’s help.

He was giving music lessons, which was a rewarding way to help people.

He even made emergency calls to the hospital when Dr. Maheswaran needed a spit healing, but they’d found out the hard way he couldn’t overdo that, and it wasn’t exactly a board-approved practice.

He couldn’t think of any reason he couldn’t do those things in the same town as Connie. Being in such a culturally vibrant college town could be good for connecting with other content creators.

“Also,” piped up Connie again, “you’re a space prince with a magic Lion who could easily warp you back for a visit once a week- or more if you got the right treats for him.”

“That’s true,” Steven said, “Lion only shows up when he wants to, though.”

“Well, I guess if you really need to you can just take your car like the rest of us lowly humans.” She winked at him.

“Heh, yeah. So, do you want me to move here?”

“I want you-” she stood up with her empty bowl and bent down to kiss his forehead, “-to do what you want to do. We’ll make it work either way. I’m sure this place will feel like home after a while, when I make some friends and get to know the campus.”

“Maybe,” he smiled at the idea, and plopped the rest of his ramen into his mouth, savoring the salty flavor.

“There’s no time to decide now about moving now,” said Connie, “because there’s something more important we have to do.”

“Hmm?”

“Boba?” She raised one eyebrow at him.

“Boba,” he agreed.

They strode out of the dorm, leaving Connie’s sword, instead ready to take on the world armed with bubble tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stayed up way too late writing this. It seemed like a simple enough idea, but I ended up getting much too into researching random stuff from geography in the SU world, to the types of Freshman dorms there are in Yale's old campus.
> 
> I think that as college-aged young adults, Steven would have had some time to recover and stabilize from the stuff he's dealing with in SUF. I do think he would generally be more carefree and lighthearted like his personality like he was as a child, but in a more mature way. I imagine him still having some deep-seated issues that he's both aware of and actively working on. Connie moving away is bringing these insecurities to the surface in this story, but in the previous story posted on here (in which they are around the same age), I tried to portray his more cheery side.
> 
> I also just love the idea of Steven finding purpose and enjoyment in his life as part of his recovery. I really love the little videos online like his "unboxing" and his weird sushi tutorial. He's charismatic enough that I could see him making a career out of that as he got older!
> 
> As for Connie, she's just so self-assured. She is brimming with excitement to start this new portion of her life, and her own set of adventures that don't involve being a knight. However, deep down she's also scared to live in a totally new place, which is part of the reason she tried to be so nonchalant in suggesting Steven move there, too.
> 
> The color symbolism was fun to incorporate into the story. Blue and Pink have always been used to visually represent Connie and Steven respectively, but Blue is also now tied to her new University, so the colors can represent the future and the past meeting at a time of significant transition like this.
> 
> I'm always critical of my own stuff, but I'm satisfied with how this story turned out considering I hammered out the whole thing out in three hours. Jam Week is almost done, you guys! I don't remember the last time I've written so much so many days in a row, and it has been a great flex for the writer juices in my brain (also, I'm so tired pls help me).


	6. To Be A Shield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jam Week Day 6: Shield.

Steven didn’t use his shield much for battle these days. It became a wok when he was cooking. It became an umbrella in the rain. It became a sled in the snow. It was a bowl to gather crops with Lapis and Peridot, fresh flowers for the house, or the loads of laundry that Pearl was convinced to let him do himself now that he was 18.

Sometimes, when the hush of the waves outside grew too calm in the night, Steven shot up from his bed brandishing his shield. The last time it happened the pink disc shot across the room and broke his tv (again). His heart did not seem to know the battles were over like his mind did.

That was why, when Connie called her mom to ask if she could spend the night, he felt his heart hammering inside his chest and demanding that he find a way out of it.

“She said I could, Steven! The snow is really coming down fast, and she said she just wanted us to be safe.”

“Oh!” Steven cleared his throat, “That’s great!”

“Oh man,” she said, “It just occurred to me that she might have intended the phrase ‘be safe’ regarding more than just the snow.”

“What do you mean?”

“She tried to give me condoms the other day, Steven.”

“Oh my gosh, are you serious?” Steven’s face felt like it was on fire and he slapped his hand over his mouth.

“I know, right? Like, despite what they all think we haven’t even done that yet!”

“Yet?” He knew if he wasn’t the shade of a beet before, he certainly was now.

“Well, yeah I mean, don’t you think that eventually we’ll-“ Connie shook her head and glanced away from Steven, “-anyways, this is getting kind of off topic. My point is, she said I can stay over!”

Steven found it kind of adorable that Connie still asked her parents permission before each adventure despite being 17. His own guardians barely noticed he was trapped on an island for weeks back when he was 13.

After a few hours, Steven’s phone was filled with new pictures of them together. There was Connie’s face, wide eyed and gleeful, as she flew down the snowy hill above the temple on one of Steven’s shields. There was a picture of Pearl, eyes narrowed, and hair rumpled, after the two of them hit her with snowballs at the same time. There was a selfie of the two of them sipping hot chocolate on the dock, complete with vegetarian marshmallows together. Connie stuffed a ton in her mouth and said, “I can’t taste any bone marrow!”

Now, they both lounged on Steven’s couch, taking pictures with the new filters Steven had on his phone. Through each silly shot with flower crowns and puppy ears, Steven grew more nervous about the topic he knew he had to breach before it got too late.

“Do you remember the blizzard when we were kids,” he said, as she leaned on his shoulder with her arm tangled in his, “when we just wanted to watch the snow fall down together?”

“Yeah, and you and Mr. Universe ended up sleeping in my living room and I snuck downstairs just so we could look out the window.” She giggled, “My mom grounded me for a week when she found us asleep on the couch in the morning!”

“Oh, I remember that! Sorry about getting you in trouble so much.”

“It’s not like it’s your fault! I was the one who snuck down. Now, if you snuck up into _my bed_ , that would be a totally different story. She probably wouldn’t have let me see you for a month if that were the case.”

“You’re probably right.” Steven squeezed her hand, to soften the delivery of what he was about to say, “Speaking of your mom, we should honor her wishes and be safe tonight.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I know you always tell her that I sleep on the couch when you’re here, so maybe I should actually do that this time.”

“What?” She sat up to study his face, “Steven, what’s going on?”

“N-nothing. I just kind of like sleeping alone now.”

Connie raised a suspicious eyebrow at him, “Steven, you are the cuddliest person I know. You used to say you wished we could nap together every day. What’s really going on here?”

“Nothing! I just think we should- um- be safe? Your mom doesn’t want us sleeping in the same bed to be safe, right?”

“She gave me condoms, Steven. I’m pretty sure she thinks we’re sleeping in the same bed, anyway.”

Steven forced a weak chuckle, “Well, you know what they say! There’s nothing safer than abstinence!”

Connie stood, rolling her eyes, “Fine. You don’t want to tell me what’s going on again, that’s _fine_. Enjoy your couch, I guess.”

She began to march towards the stairs.

“Wait,” called Steven.

Connie kept walking, so Steven ran up in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders, meeting her steely gaze.

“I’m sorry. I know I have this bad habit of shutting people out- of shutting _you out_ \- so just keep calling me out whenever I’m doing it, ok?”

“I think we both know I don’t have a problem doing that.” A little smirk crept onto the corner of her lip.

Steven’s worries must have been written on his face, because her expression softened as she drew him into her arms, “Oh, Steven. What are you trying to shield me from this time?”

“Heh, choice wording,” he sighed.

“What?” She asked, backing up to look at him.

“I’m trying to shield you from my shield, I guess?”

“Your shield?”

He stepped aside, clearing her to walk up the stairs, “Why don’t you go look at my TV?”

“Um, alright,” she sounded bewildered as she made the ascent, with him behind her.

“Oh, not again!” Connie observed the massive gash in the shattered screen, “I know your dad is still rich, but how many more of these is he going to buy?”

“My shield did that. From a nightmare. Just think what it could have done to you, if you were next to me? Or what if I turned pink when I was asleep and I split the house in half or something?”

“Steven, I-“ she cupped his face in her hands, trying to get him to look at her.

“And I know I shouldn’t shut you out, but I’m an alien, Connie!” He grabbed at his stomach and his voice was raw and scratchy with panic, “I have this rock inside me- that I can’t take out- that has these powers I don’t understand that are tied to emotions I also don’t understand! And no matter how brave you are, or how good you are with your sword, you’re still a human! I could hurt you.”

“Steven-“

“Like, why can’t I just get over it?” He began pacing the room, clutching the sides of his head, “Why can’t my stupid mind understand that all that stuff is over?”

“Steven!” Connie shouted this time, finally bringing him out of his spiraling thoughts to look at her, “It’s ok. If you want to sleep alone. I have nightmares, too. Sometimes.”

“Y-you do?”

“Yeah. I mean, the stuff we’ve been through is hard to process. It’s not, like, a character flaw to have a hard time with all the abductions and attempts on your life you’ve made it through.”

“I guess not,” said Steven, closing his eyes as he made himself take a deep breath, “but that still doesn’t change the fact that it’s not safe for us to sleep in the same bed together. I wish it was, but there’s no way I’d be able to sleep if I knew I could wake up doing something to you.”

“That’s ok, Steven. I wasn’t mad you wanted to sleep alone. I was mad you didn’t tell me why in the first place.”

“Right, that makes sense. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to do that sometimes.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll keep calling you out on it until you learn.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Steven gathered a pillow and a blanket, and headed down to the couch, staring at the sheets of snow fall outside in the moonlight. He wondered if Connie was watching it upstairs, too. He didn’t know how long he laid there, wishing he could not be afraid of hurting her. Wishing he didn’t feel so different from every human and every gem he knew. Wishing he could open up more easily.

He must have finally started drifting off around 1am, curled in a ball with his own arms wrapped around his shoulders, when he felt another set of arms around him.

“Steven,” Connie whispered.

“Hmm,” he mumbled.

“I don’t know how I didn’t think of this before.”

“What?” His eyes fluttered open.

“If we can’t sleep in your bed together, then let’s just sleep in your bed alone.”

He sat up, rubbing his eyes, “Do you mean-“

“Dance with me, Universe.” She was standing, her hand extended in invitation for his.

“Oh, of course!”

Steven threw the blanket off himself, and with a few taps on his phone their favorite song by the Philosophy Majors filled the house. How could he forget about fusion? No matter how different or how isolated he felt, he’d never had problems fusing with Connie. The gems were harder, despite knowing them longer, but with Connie it was as natural as breathing. Sometimes, when their thoughts were too complicated or overwhelming to say out loud, they could fuse and just feel them together.

They spun, shook, and swayed, each mimicking movements of the other. Steven caught Connie’s gaze, and his gem casted a pink glow through the room and made her eyes shimmer. As he picked her up for a final spin, they formed Stevonnie and hugged themselves.

In their dreams that night, Steven and Connie grounded and shielded each other in their shared form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was so hard for me to come up with a story for this prompt! I restarted it 3 times and each time it went a totally different direction. Anyways, I hope you guys like the one I settled on. I know it's a little angsty, but I had it end on fluff in the spirit of the jam. I already have my story for tomorrow finished. It's just a drabble, so I guess I am capable of not being way-too-wordy sometimes. :p


	7. Here We Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jam Week Day 7: Future. Wrapping up the week with a little existential hurt/comfort drabble, shortly after the events of Prickly Pair.

“Here we are in the future,” Steven sang with a slow strum of his guitar and his feet hanging off the ocean dock, “Here we are in the future and it’s-”

He blinked away the blurriness in his eyes and stared up at the endless night sky. There were planets teeming with life out there, that were safe from Diamond colonization because of him, but seeing it all stretched out before him still made him feel so small.

“Here we are and it’s-” he hung his head and let his hand fall down from the neck of the guitar, “-what _is_ it?”

He heard footsteps on the wood behind him and slid his eyes to his right where Connie sat on the dock next to him. He sighed, knowing it would only be a matter of time before the Gems called her to come talk to him. He’d stopped talking to them completely after the incident with Cactus Steven, and now if he wasn’t careful, he would say something that would ruin his relationship with her, too.

He expected her to pepper him with questions, or berate him for not talking to her sooner, but instead she just sat. For several minutes, only the waves filled the silence between them.

“Here we are in the future,” she sang, and Steven’s ears perked at the soft sound. She did not often sing unless coerced to, “Here we are in the future and _it’s ours.”_

She slid her arm around his shoulders, and he felt his muscles tense.

“Here I am in the future,” he rasped, tears stinging his throat, “and _I’m wrong.”_

“Here we are…” she stopped, taking her hand and placing it on his cheek to turn his face to hers. She smiled at him, her dark eyes brimming with worry and love- two things Steven felt like he didn’t deserve now.

He placed his guitar on the other side of him, shifted his body towards her, and enveloped her in his broad arms. For better or worse, he couldn’t resist his longing to be close to her when she was there in front of him. That had been the case ever since they were kids, when he first realized how dangerous his life could be- now how dangerous _he_ could be- and tried to shield her from it to no avail. She tightened her embrace around him as he nuzzled his face into the hollow of her shoulder.

“Here we are in the future,” she whispered, “and _we’re here.”_

He wanted to tell her so many things. He wanted to apologize for getting her shirt soaked with tears. He wanted to apologize for being a bad friend and not calling her back when she was worried about him. He wanted to tell her how scared he was of himself and of the massive, stretching void that his future seemed like.

He could not articulate any of that in the moment, though. For now, all he could do was echo with a ragged exhale, _“We’re here.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this last story is short, but I didn't feel it needed to be any longer than it is. I need to get better about being concise and do more drabbles, anyway. The idea of Steven no longer knowing how to complete this song since SUF really resonated with me. I realize that pretty much every story in this collection has been "Connie comforts/reassures Steven again." That wasn't intentional, but dangit, after the events of SUF, this boy really needs it. I wish we knew more about what Connie is presently going through presently, but I imagine the canon will be getting to that soon. Thanks for your kudos and your kind comments on this project. :)


End file.
